Alameda

So I've moved again. Who knows how long this will last?

One good thing immediately is the wealth of night photography subjects around here. This old base is littered with light pockets and some are really great. Plus the conditions vary depending on the weather. That has been a nice thing. Of course it usually means going out creeping reaaaaally late (or early.) My sleep schedule is for poop right now.

A friend of mine is having a baby soon. It's going to be very big!

Aperture

Life has saturated me for so long that sometimes I don't even notice it anymore. Lately I've been able to start seeing through different lenses. It has been too long since I had a decent hobby. So now I stay up late listening to the music of suicides and editing and posting digital files. It is great to be young and healthy in both mind and body.

Let my existence be the warning label on a pack of cigarettes. Too late.

Time

Officially older today. I worked underneath a house all day. I got really dirty. It was great fun. It looks like I'll be doing some steady work for the next couple of weeks. Nice to know.

I've got my sights set on my next camera already. I'll be moving into the world of the SLR before the end of the year if I have anything to say about it.

Here is a sweet picture of a sweet horse.

Slip Slidin'

Today I hiked around looking for a decent vantage point of the slide on I-80 near my house. It is hard to get near. This one is pretty good size. All you who drive roads that have this type of retaining wall should take notice. There have been at least three similar slides on I-80 in my area this year. civil engineers are maybe using the trial and error method for design. This is expected to take weeks to clear up.

Stayin' Alive

I'm so happy to have had work for the past two weeks that I celebrated by getting my haircut for the first time in about 6 months. I always remember how nice short hair is when I have it.

I'm starting to get to the point where photography really appeals to me. Now I just have to work out how to make some money by doing it. I had an interesting talk last week with a professional photographer who was quite helpful. The upshot:
making money is never easy even if you like what you are doing.

Regardless of reality I will pursue my enjoyment. Maybe someday I will learn enough to take better pictures of the things I see and of the things that I want to see.

Cloudbreak

Woe is me.

I have this recurring theme. I don't know what my blockage is, but it is starting to ge annoying.

I almost feel close to breaking out of this cycle. Close to my inspiration. That is now what I think I have been missing all these years. It is a hard thing to track. I get feelings from things when I am close. Clues if you will. Inklings. Life is structured normally to divert the impulse to inspiration. The whimsy that can be so powerfully driving is often marginalized by the pragmatic furniture of the ordinary life.

I've been staring blankly at the furniture for so long that sometimes I feel like I don't know myself.

But I do know myself.
Why have I been burying myself prematurely? Some bad homage to Edgar Allan Poe? Fine. That is part of who I am. Always a bit close to the darkness, yet within me a strong light burns. Passion. So close to the surface, SO CLOSE, but often not shining through quite strongly enough. And the sun is getting on its way.

Let this post accompany the picture it is tied to. The brief break in the clouds before the rain returns again. The darkness pressing back in.

But we know there is sun.

Stillness

I finally thought of something that I want to do, but so late that my resources have mostly been squandered doing other ridiculous things. We'll see how it transpires. In the meantime I have some great computers that I can sell. What am I bid for the Pentium 3 1000? And for the 650 AMD with Windows 98? Anyone...?

Not such a great business model. If there was an effective way of marketing my actual skills that didn't include people wanting to know about my time in prison it would be much nicer for me. I don't really think prison has a whole lot of relevance anymore. That was about ten years ago..... wow. Time flies when you are having such great fun.